Airing Fantasy Hockey Frustrations: Part 4- That Pesky Injury Bug

There aren't many headlines scarier to a fantasy GM than "insert key player name here to miss extended period of time due to injury".  In fact, the only thing scarier than seeing that headline pop up in your fantasy notifications is seeing it pop up not once, but three times within one season.

I lost TJ Oshie a while back when he broke an ankle and parked himself on the IR. Now I know what you're saying-why the heck is he still on the team?  The answer is very simple really-it's a combination of too much optimism and a little bit of GM incompetence.  I'd like to say my delayed reaction is justified because everyone worth having is already on a team, but Osh-Kosh-B-Gosh went down a while ago and odds are I could have grabbed a replacement when it happened.  But I didn't and here I stand on December 20th thinking, "oh maybe I should try and replace him since he's doing me absolutely no good."  Yeah I know.  Lessons learned. 

With him injured, I have a whopping TWO centers on my team (one of them being half of the team name and the other being half of the biggest hockey-country music power couple since...well ever) and I'd like to take some pressure of them by adding a third center.  The leading two options at this point are Nik Antropov (yeah who thought he'd EVER be listed as the solution to ANYTHING) or Scott Gomez.  Gomez may get the nod here because then I will have matching Montreal Canadiens mighty mites.  They are  like tiny salt and pepper shakers-so fragile yet oh so collectible.  We'll see.  Maybe Oshie will miraculously heal over Christmas, but odds are either Antropov or Gomez will be on the team by 2011.

The man, the myth, the Mullet went down next with a sprained ankle.  Things were looking good there for about a minute and a half when it was rumored he'd be able to play again before Christmas. Then he ran into an assistant coach during practice and isn't expected back until after the holiday.  I'm not kidding.  You can't make this kind of stuff up.  Apparently a steady diet of Belvedere and Bud Light is not the recipe for strong tendons and ligaments.  Who knew. 

Finally, as if the RW position hadn't taken a bad enough hit, Ryan Callahan broke his left hand and will be out until February.  Well actually, he'll be out of the Sutterly Camtastic lineup longer because I could not even begin to justify keeping him on the roster while injured.  Odds are he'll still be floating around the FA market in a few months anyway.  No hard feelings buddy.  We'll keep your picture up in the locker room. 

I couldn't make it through the next few months with only one fully healthy RW so I searched the FA market for a solution.  ANY solution.  And much to my surpirse, I found the solution to not just my problem, but possibly the solution to the question of whether eternal youth is a myth or a reality.  Because ladies and gentlemen, one Mr. Mark Recchi is joining Sutterly Camtastic!  :insert celebratory trumpets here:  Not only does the Recchin' Ball instantly increase the average age of the team by about a decade, but he also brings a surprisingly effective scoring touch for someone who's 42 years old.  Holy cow.  They need to study this man's secret. 

Sutterly Camtastic seems forever doomed to reside in the bottom half of the league, but hopefully once key players get healthy again, things will turn around.  If not, we can always wait for the teams ahead of us (which at this point is all but two) to exceed their "games played" limit.  Now that is the plan of a future champion-waiting for another team to run out of a valuable resource and then swooping in to scavenge the remains.  Just call us the Atlanta Thrashers. 

Airing Fantasy Hockey Frustrations: Part 3-Arrivals and Departures

I never thought I was going to admit this, but here goes. I, writer/editor/illustrator of The Hurricane Siren and GM of Sutterly Camtastic, pulled a Brian Burke recently. No, I didn't start spouting bitter diatribes about truculence or steal someone's draft pick right out from underneath them. Instead I pushed the panic button (ok maybe "jumped on the panic button and then did a little tap dance on it" would be a better description), proclaimed myself to be the bus driver of this team and pushed people off the proverbial bus.

You see, I couldn't allow Sutterly Camtastic to go down in flames (at least not this early in the season!) so I did what I had to do. I dropped some underachievers, traded one very large disappointment and picked up a few promising new faces that I am sure will be the saviors of this team (there I go channeling Burke again-the man is like a bad disco song-you just can't get it out of your head). So let's meet the newbies shall we?

My first move was to pick up a player from the waiver wire. I was in desperate need of a LW who could score (or skate for that matter) and when I found out that everyone worth having was already taken, I opted to pick up Benoit Pouliot of Montreal. The 24 year old has put up 9 points in 18 GP which makes him more productive than...well the empty space that was on my roster. Good times are ahead I can just feel it. So welcome Benoit (or perhaps more appropriately Bienvenue Benoit), here's your jersey and your locker is over there next to Mason Raymond's...no don't worry that it says "Oshie :(" above it, he won't mind at all.

The next step I took was to shock the fantasy hockey world with a blockbuster trade. It went down like I imagine any NHL trade goes down-via Twitter with a lot of emoticons thrown in for good measure as I managed to convince a fellow GM (who shall remain nameless to protect his reputation and, let's face it, dignity) that Martin Brodeur was a valuable asset. HA! He even gave me something in return for Donut Hole! Well I mean I had to throw in Dustin Brown to sweeten the deal, but honestly just the reduction in mental trauma was worth it. Plus I was starting to run out of Marty Brodeur fat jokes.

But getting back on track here, I am pleased to announce that Sutterly Camtastic is officially more CAMTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes that's right our Campion Wardolie is now a member of Sutterly Camtastic, making the team name both quippy and factually accurate. :does happy dance: Mark Giordano also came over in the deal with his 8 points making him the team's leading scorer from the blueline. You know if I wasn't so Camtastically happy, I'd probably cry at that statistic. Despite a freakish resemblance to Mr. Bean (don't lie, you know you see it), I have high hopes for Giordano.


Last, but certainly not least, I regret to inform you that Sutterly Camtastic and Niklas Hjalmarsson have parted ways due to his poor performance. Oh yeah and the fact that I quickly got tired of trying to spell his name. In his place, we welcome 23 year old (yup they just keep getting younger) D-man Cody Franson who appears to have a promising season ahead of him. Well if not "promising", at least "less sucky than the rest of the D-core". See that kids? Being just barely better than your competition does, in fact, pay off.

After a brief moment of brilliance that propelled us up to 10th place, Sutterly Camtastic is once again in 14th place, a mere 61 points out of first place. Oh that sure is ugly, even uglier than Martin Brodeur at an all-you-can-eat buffet (guess I had one more joke in me afterall). But watch out Canes Country Rookies 2, Sutterly Camtastic is on its way up...to 13th!!!!

Surviving Russia and Praying to the Hockey Gods

As has been tweeted, retweeted, blogged, Facebooked and live streamed (gotta love the internet), the Canes lost their final preseason game to SKA St. Petersburg today/tonight/last night (I still haven't quite gotten the hang of the time difference). I could go on and on about how this was an insanely chippy game (one could probably toss around the word "dirty" without much argument), but instead of a recap filled with quotes and stats, I'm going to let the photos do the talking (with some added commentary).

I sure am glad Eric Stall and Jossi Jokonen were able to make the trip. I hear they're great players!

All of the hope and promise of a great game is present at warm-ups.

The in-arena accomodations are clearly a little different than those in the NHL.

You know, it's a shame the team missed out on the Olympic Opening Ceremonies...I mean pre-game festivities. How often do you get to see violin players rocking out and flying acrobats at hockey games?

Here are the aforementioned acrobats. Yes one of them is wearing a Staal jersey. No that's not some sort of crack at his manhood.

Each player got All-Star treatment as they were introduced individually. Babs got the loudest round of applause (possibly the only time I'll ever type that sentence).

The team stands at attention for the USA national anthem. Fun note, it's only the national anthem for 8 of the Hurricanes (and that counts Brandon Sutter who would probably pick the Canadian anthem if given a choice).

Speaking of Americans...here's Bainer looking...well I'll let you fill in the blank.

See how lovely it is? Such international friendliness-all of these guys coming together to play the sport they love. This is going to be GREAT!

After the ceremonial face-off (I'll give you one guess on who won), the game can finally begin!

Dalpe had some nice chances this afternoon/evening/yesterday.
Someone help me out with this please.

Clearly the friendliness and coming together has ended and an all-out brawl has begun. Before the end of the game we'd lose Gleason (fighting), Corvo (to injury), Staal (safety), Ward (safety), Pitkanen (spearing), and Harrison (fighting). That's in addition to all of the time we spent in the penalty box.

For the record, it took Tim landing about 2 punches (with his gloves still on mind you) before this joker was on the ice bleeding. Gleason for Emperor indeed.

And a gratuitous Tim Gleason shot. Just because.

Skinner (completely obstructed by the beastliness of Jussi) scored a goal and had some very pretty plays throughout the game.

This is a nice shot of the players left on the bench by the time we got to the third period.

And Jay Harrison managed to win a fight. I'd be ashamed if I were Golovkov.
No one loses to Jay Harrison. NO ONE.

Joni has forgotten that in order for his "sneaky nasty" to be effective, it has to oh I don't know actually be sneaky.

Jeff Skinner (who is a hockey playing doll) received a bright, shiny trophy for being the Hurricanes' player of the game (or Man of the Match). I'm not sure if they do this for every game in Russia or if this was special just for us.

Clearly the game did not go as planned (unless of course "play dirty as all heck" was your gameplan; in which case, congrats Russia), but all of our guys made it on the plane and to Finland in what I can assume to be one piece. Now they can rest and focus on what really matters: hitting the saunas! Oh and bringing home 4 points.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Inspired by the emotionally scarring story Tripp told last night, Jenniwa30 put together this little beauty.

I don't think I really need to add anything to this because well...it kind of speaks for itself. But it's safe to say that Matt and Rosey have learned a very valuable lesson from this-don't share personal stories with Tripp unless you're prepared for the backlash.

Great work Jenniwa30! You keep making them and I'll keep posting them-it may have to become a regular feature. :)