Everybody Loves Raymond

In honor of Ray Whitney’s 1000th NHL game tomorrow night, I thought it would be appropriate to offer up a tribute to everyone’s favorite mighty mite with the awesome hair (check out his roster photo-it looks he just stuck a spoon in a light socket). But this won’t be an ordinary tribute filled with touching emotional anecdotes about what he means to a team. Nor will there be stats (remember-I really dislike stats). Instead, I’m going to focus on the humorous and ridiculous-which I think Ray would appreciate.

The 5’10” Whitney…wait what? There is no way that man is 5’10”. You can’t be that tall and get picked up by Chad LaRose. I’m sorry it just wouldn't happen. They must have measured him with his skates on, so I’m going to adjust that number accordingly. The 5’7 ½” Whitney is chock full of personality whether he’s mugging for the camera during Tripp’s pre-game interview (don't lie, you know it's your favorite part of the interview) or wise cracking during an Ask the Canes segment. It would be hard to find a better quote source than the Wizard and I’ve pulled together some of his best ones. So sit back and get ready to laugh.
When asked how long he would be able to ride a bull, Ray answered:

"Till they showed me the bull. That’s all. That’s how long I would last. I went to the bull riding, that’s not for me. I’m about as big as those guys are, but they’re a lot bigger in one other area than me."

When asked what he’s afraid of, Ray quipped:

"Chad LaRose coming into the shower when I’m in there."

(I wonder how he’d feel about hot tubbing…)

Speaking of hot tubs, here’s Ray’s take on what the team needs to do in order to avoid that pesky flu bug:

"Well I could shower a little bit more. I’m going to try some hygienic things first to see if they work. The hugging after goals-you might bring it down a touch. The male bonding in the lockerroom; maybe the hot tubbing could come down a little bit. Yeah-the hugging and frolicking around the locker room could probably come down a touch."

(I think some of the guys need a refresher course in Ray’s Healthy Lifestyle Tips, including Ray. That's a lot of man love dude.)

In response to a question about creating a New Year's resolution for his teammates, Ray expressed some concern over a certain player's training regimens:

"Oh there’s a few out here. I think Rod Brind’amour should start training a little bit. Because he’s starting to get a little soft."

(If you listen carefully, you can hear Rod kicking Ray's butt with only his eyelashes.)

But Ray's sense of humor doesn't stop at the expense of his teammates, he even pokes fun at his wife, like when asked what she wanted for Christmas:

"Ah I don’t know, but I know it’s going to be expensive."

But then again, I think she probably gives it right back to him. Her answer to the same question:

"Steve Yzerman"

(Am I the only that thinks they'd be the most entertaining player-wife duo to hang out with?)

The Wizard had this to say when asked which Disney character he would be:

"Oh it’s gonna be someone short. I’m going to go with Mr. Incredible" :winks:

(Personally I like Matt Cullen's choice of Lord Farquaad from Shrek to represent Mr. Whitney-come on, admit it, he's almost a dead ringer.)

Finally, one last thought from the little dude. When asked what his 1000th game meant to him, Ray dead panned:

"Expensive gifts."

(Yeah Ray, I'm sure the boys are all chipping in to buy you something special.)

So tomorrow night when you're settling in to watch the game, make sure to give your Ray Whitney doll (hey even Babchuk has one!) a good seat on the couch. Hopefully, his 1000th game will be fondly remembered as a Canes' victory.