Thursday, April 15, 2010

We like you! We really like you!

Break out the tuxes gentlemen! Write your acceptance speeches! We are giving out awards here at the Siren to the best and the worst of the Carolina Hurricanes!

Ok so this is a little low rent and there won't be any actual trophies given away, not even the mini ones the NHL gives out. And we certainly aren't lucky enough to have Chaka Khan or Robin Thicke entertain us, but we did manage to convince (read blackmailed) Kris Versteeg to sing Fergie!

:wipes away a tear of laughter: No one tell him this is the Hurricanes' awards ceremony ok? I'd hate to clean up the green room after he realizes what just happened.

Let's get started shall we? The first award tonight is in the Best Post-Game Quotes category. This award is given to the player or coach who best exemplifies humility, humor and self-deprecation to the point of hilarity during a post-game media scrum. Previous winners include Tim Gleason and well...Tim Gleason. This year, however, we are pleased to announce that Manny Legace takes the hardware back to the Shire. Quotes like: "oh yeah I got hit right in the love pillows" and "Well, when you're five foot nothing, you have to use all of your assests" made him the clear favorite from the moment he stepped foot on NC soil. Congratulations Manny!

The Toughest Player award is given to the player that is well...the toughest (sometimes a donkey is just a donkey people). We've been witness to some remarkable moments of strength this season, but one night in Washington, D.C. will always stand out to Hurricanes' fans.

Tim Gleason, we salute you and are proud to give you the Toughest Player award!

Sometimes things happen to force fate's hand. Perhaps we would have added this award anyway, but it'd be hard to argue that the winner didn't help things along. So without further ado, I present the award for Best Facial Expression. The winner showed a dedication and determination to strange and awkward facial expressions, but Eric Staal's baby bird face from the Olympics sealed the deal for him:

Without a goalie where would any hockey team be? This award salutes those few men crazy enough to strap on a pillow and block 100 mph shots with their bodies. The award for Best Save has previously been won by Michael Leighton and Cam Ward. I am pleased to announce that our Campion Wardolie is a repeat winner this year for this Camtastic save on Billy Guerin:

Honorable mention goes to this pinwheel save on Brian Gionta.

Speaking of netminders, it's time to present quite possibly the most frightening award of the evening. The Best Tripp Tracy Moment category always has great entries and this year was no exception. In fact it was so full of Tripp awesomeness that we almost had to name two winners, but after some careful thought and consideration of all that is Tripp we are pleased to announce that Tripp and Zach Boychuk's intermission exchange during a game against Pittsburgh wins the category.
Tripp: Having been selected 15th in the entry draft...
Zach: 14th Tripp.
Tripp: Blah blah blah
Zach: It was 14th Tripp.
Tripp: Err ummm what? Oh yes, 14th.
Thank you for that moment young Zach. I sense that many more great Tripp Tracy interactions are ahead of you. Godspeed Zach.

The Best New Regular award is for the player we can no longer imagine our team without. This player can come to us through trade or as a call-up from the AHL. This year, it was the latter. When you are called "the defining player in our lineup" by your coach, wear the A, and basically become the top defensive forward all while racking up only 2 PIMs at 21 years old, you've pretty much locked this award up. Congratulations to Brandon Sutter for his outstanding season!

The next award is the highly coveted Best Goal award presented to the player whose moment of offensive brillance left us breathless and left the opposing goalie sputtering in disbelief. We've had some really great goals this season, but there is one that stands out above all the rest. Please congratulate Chad LaRose on his mid-air goal against the Montreal Canadiens.

You have a gift my little friend.

You can't score a goal without a little help from your friends and sometimes those assists are prettier than the actual goal. The Best Assist category is intended for just those moments. This year's winner showed that you don't have to be 22 years old to have sick moves.

Yeah Brandon. WOW is right. Rock on little mighty mite.

We were lucky enough to get a glimpse of the future of the Carolina Hurricanes and let me say that the future is so bright we're going to need shades. And with that really corny intro, I am pleased to announce the winner of the Brightest Future award is....Jamie McBain. The 22 year old Minnesota born D-man definitely made a lasting impression on fans around the league with his defensive poise and offensive abilities. He is going to be pleasure to watch for a long time.

For some reason hockey and fighting go hand in hand. There's nothing like a good fight to bring a crowd back to life or swing the momentum in a game. It's for this reason that we present the Best Fighter award every year. Previous winners have pretty much only ever been Tim Gleason. And this year is no exception. Check out this beauty:

Our final two awards are perhaps the most highly anticipated thing since Martin Brodeur's post game extra large pizza. :pause for ripples of awkward laughter:

Alrighty then...the Fan Favorite award goes to the player whose personality off the ice and play on the ice inspires fans to chant his name, buy his jersey and support him at all times. There was really only ever going to be one nominee for this award, but like the Edmonton Oilers, we still had to go through the motions of the entire season. Please join me in congratulating Tuomo Ruutu for his efforts this season!!! The smiley Finn always managed to put on a brave face for the media and fans, but really even if he wasn't smiling, listening to him speak made us smile. His refusal to give anything less than 100% inspired his teammates and his fans. The RBC Center has been Ruu-ing since he arrived in Raleigh and we don't want to stop anytime soon.


Last, but certainly not least, is the Team MVP award which goes to a player who has been deemed to make the most significant contributions to his team. Past winners have included Cam Ward and Ray Whitney. This year, a first time nominee is bringing home the honor. I am pleased to announce that our winner, with a career high 65 points and an unmatched ability to mesh with anyone and everyone, is Jussi Jokinen!!!!
That does it for the ceremony and like all of the best awards shows, we only ran 45 minutes late and had just 2 awkward moments. Congratulations to all winners this evening and remember that while only some of you are leaving with imaginary trophies, there really are no losers here. Well except for A.Ward who is probably still waiting for his invitation to come in the mail. Ok so make that three awkward moments.

3 comments:

  1. I wish she could have gotten him to sing big girls don't cry!! LOL!! That Staal face is still freakin hilarious!!! Great job as always!!

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  2. Like any good awards program, this one was filled with deserving winners, lazerlike witticisms and a healthy dose of good old fashioned snark. Well done Siren, see you next season.

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