Jeff Skinner in Vegas: The Inside Story

Quick question to all those reading this: what had you accomplished by the time you were 19? No, figuring out the best beer pong strategy for next Friday night does not count.  Keep thinking.  Do you have something? Is it really good? Well how's this for perspective: by the time Jeff Skinner turned 19, he'd been drafted into the NHL, played in the All-Star Game, played an entire NHL season as the youngest player in the league, scored 63 points and won the Calder Trophy as Rookie of the Year.  Yeah.  So about your accomplishment...well we'll just move on.

Caniacs were already beyond thrilled to have Skinner as part of the organization and moments like Wednesday night only heightened SkinnerMania in the Triangle.  Hockey fans are crazy for all things Skinner and if there's one thing we value here at the Siren, it's giving the people what they want....even if they are completely made up.  So it gives me great pleasure to announce that the Siren has obtained an exclusive, detailed and completely made up report of Jeff's time in Las Vegas.  Excited? Yeah me too! And wait, the best part is yet to come. This exclusive, detailed and completely made up report of Jeff's time in Las Vegas is written by none other than Jeff Skinner himself! *insert girlish squealing here*  Alright settle down now. Without further ado, here is Jeff's essay about his time in Vegas.  

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That's me!

How I Spent My Time in Vegas

By: Jeff Jeffrey Jeff Skinner

Hi! It's Jeff. I'm in Las Vegas and it's so cool here!!  There are all these lights and realy big hotels and I have the biggest bathroom ever! It's even bigger than the suana sauna (that's a tricky word!) that we went...oh. Mom says I'm not allowed to talk about that.  Yeah I brought my whole family with me because Mom said I couldn't come to "Sin City" (she always says it like it did something naughty) without them here and I really wanted to come and so I had to let them and they're staying at the palms too. They aren't all staying in my room though because I'm a big kid now and I'm not scared without them.  But we have one of those doors in the middle of the room just in case they need me for sumthin. I also brought Jamie with me since mom and dad both said I could bring a freind. I like Bainer. He's fun.

The Playboy Pool at the Palms

The hotel is really neat. You can order roomservice whenever you want! I had chicken nuggets last night real late. They were tasty and shaped like the little bunnies I sometimes see on my brother's maguhzines.  Me and Bainer also had Fruit Loops for brekfast on Wedesday.  Shhh...don't tell coach mo-we're not supposed to eat that stuff at home. There's also a pool here. I wanted to go but Mom said I couldn't becuz it was full of bunnies. I don't get it. I like bunnies-they're fluffy. But I didn't think they liked to swim.  

We got here on Tuesday and then I went to talk to some reporters. It was ok.  Most of them are nice. They kept asking me about this kid named Justin. I looked but I didn't see his name on the list of people nomininimated.  Grown-ups are wierd weird wierd After I finished talking to the reporters I really wanted to ride these curvy boats in the river inside one of the hotels (how did they get a river INSIDE the hotel?) but no one wanted to come with me.  Not even Bainer and he promised to hang out with me and not go to the casino becuze I cant. Instead he wanted to go to see the X-Men. I realy like the X-Men Wolverine is my favorite when I was a little kid I had a backpack with his picture on it but I dont use it any more.  Mom and dad agreed to let us go by our selves as long as we were carefull when we crossed the street.

But when we got there there weren't any people our age. It was all these grown-up girls like my mom's age. I asked Bainer if the X-men were coming later and then this lady asked us if we were lost and then Jamie realized our tickets were for something called Men of X which I guess isnt the same thing as the X-Men so we had to leave. I was real sad but Bainer promised the next day would be more fun. I wasnt sure becuz I had to wear a suit and I dont like suits.

"The forward goes around the back of the
net and shoots the puck through the
five hole."

On Wednsday I woke up real tired I didnt sleep good becuz I was nervous about the wards cerimony. But mom made me get up way to early so bainer and me got to go to the acwarium where Dori and Nemo live! It was fun. They let me touch a starfish and I saw some dolfins. Then I went back to the hotel to get dressed in my grown-up suit.  I had trouble tieing my tie, but I got it. Im glad the 17 people picked the regular suit the other ones were kind of weird looking and one of them was itchy.



Hi Gammie!

 All of my brothers and sisters were sitting with my mom and dad and Bainer and me. We were all really nervus. But when they said I won we were all real excited. Mom hugged me so tight I couldnt breathe anymore! The trofy they gave me was really heavy and when I took out the paper with everyones name on it, I couldn't read it because Bainer had colored on it! Then I had to talk to the reporters again no one talked about that Justin guy so I guess he didn't win.  Mom took a picture of me with the big trophy for my Gammie.

I couldnt go to the grown-up party since they only had grown up fruit punch and games I cant play.  But we still had fun we went and saw the Blue Men. They played these giant drums and got covered in paint. Do they know the green men in Vancouver? I bet they're cousins. Bainer and me got to stay up real late and watch movies (but mom made dad take the remote away when we found a channel called "payperview") and I had extra dessert at dinner. But I couldn't eat out of the trophy since mom said it would be to messy.

We had to go home the next day but I got to have smiley face pancakes for breakfast so it was ok. They were real tasty and I got to have chocolate milk with them to. Yum!  I had a lot of fun in Vegas and it was real special to win the Calder Trophy. My face hurts from smiling for so many pictures. I kinda wish I coulda played with those big gumball machines in the cahseno but dad said maybe next time. Does that mean I get to do this every year?!