'Tis the Season...for Letters to Santa!

There is nothing quite like the wonder in a child's eyes on Christmas morning. To see them rush down the stairs and skid to a stop as they see the presents under the tree for the first time is something truly special. Perhaps the only thing that comes close to matching that magic is reading the letters they write for Santa to read on Christmas Eve. It's their chance to recount all of their achievements and then ask for tons of gifts they will undoubtedly forget about by next Christmas.

But there comes a time when children no longer write letters to Santa. No more cookies left on the kitchen table or cute drawings of Rudolph left by the fire place. This was the case for the Carolina Hurricanes; they were without the wide-eyed innocence that a child brings. Until of course, they selected Jeff Skinner 7th overall in the draft. Suddenly, the halls of the RBC were alive with a child's laughter. Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers made appearances on the team iPod. And someone was writing letters to Santa again. God bless us, everyone!

Much like every child given a piece of construction paper and a crayon, Jeff was thrilled to write his letter to Santa.  In fact, he's had it done for weeks now and he was kind enough to send us a copy of the super cute (and completely fake) letter so that Canes' fans everywhere would be able to share in his holiday spirit!  You may want to click on the pages of the letter for easier reading. 

Merry Christmas Caniacs!  May your holiday be filled with family, friends, joy and maybe a little hockey.  See you in 2011!

Airing Fantasy Hockey Frustrations: Part 4- That Pesky Injury Bug

There aren't many headlines scarier to a fantasy GM than "insert key player name here to miss extended period of time due to injury".  In fact, the only thing scarier than seeing that headline pop up in your fantasy notifications is seeing it pop up not once, but three times within one season.

I lost TJ Oshie a while back when he broke an ankle and parked himself on the IR. Now I know what you're saying-why the heck is he still on the team?  The answer is very simple really-it's a combination of too much optimism and a little bit of GM incompetence.  I'd like to say my delayed reaction is justified because everyone worth having is already on a team, but Osh-Kosh-B-Gosh went down a while ago and odds are I could have grabbed a replacement when it happened.  But I didn't and here I stand on December 20th thinking, "oh maybe I should try and replace him since he's doing me absolutely no good."  Yeah I know.  Lessons learned. 

With him injured, I have a whopping TWO centers on my team (one of them being half of the team name and the other being half of the biggest hockey-country music power couple since...well ever) and I'd like to take some pressure of them by adding a third center.  The leading two options at this point are Nik Antropov (yeah who thought he'd EVER be listed as the solution to ANYTHING) or Scott Gomez.  Gomez may get the nod here because then I will have matching Montreal Canadiens mighty mites.  They are  like tiny salt and pepper shakers-so fragile yet oh so collectible.  We'll see.  Maybe Oshie will miraculously heal over Christmas, but odds are either Antropov or Gomez will be on the team by 2011.

The man, the myth, the Mullet went down next with a sprained ankle.  Things were looking good there for about a minute and a half when it was rumored he'd be able to play again before Christmas. Then he ran into an assistant coach during practice and isn't expected back until after the holiday.  I'm not kidding.  You can't make this kind of stuff up.  Apparently a steady diet of Belvedere and Bud Light is not the recipe for strong tendons and ligaments.  Who knew. 

Finally, as if the RW position hadn't taken a bad enough hit, Ryan Callahan broke his left hand and will be out until February.  Well actually, he'll be out of the Sutterly Camtastic lineup longer because I could not even begin to justify keeping him on the roster while injured.  Odds are he'll still be floating around the FA market in a few months anyway.  No hard feelings buddy.  We'll keep your picture up in the locker room. 

I couldn't make it through the next few months with only one fully healthy RW so I searched the FA market for a solution.  ANY solution.  And much to my surpirse, I found the solution to not just my problem, but possibly the solution to the question of whether eternal youth is a myth or a reality.  Because ladies and gentlemen, one Mr. Mark Recchi is joining Sutterly Camtastic!  :insert celebratory trumpets here:  Not only does the Recchin' Ball instantly increase the average age of the team by about a decade, but he also brings a surprisingly effective scoring touch for someone who's 42 years old.  Holy cow.  They need to study this man's secret. 

Sutterly Camtastic seems forever doomed to reside in the bottom half of the league, but hopefully once key players get healthy again, things will turn around.  If not, we can always wait for the teams ahead of us (which at this point is all but two) to exceed their "games played" limit.  Now that is the plan of a future champion-waiting for another team to run out of a valuable resource and then swooping in to scavenge the remains.  Just call us the Atlanta Thrashers. 

'Tis the Season...for Pictures with Santa!

If there is one thing we pride ourselves on here at the Siren, it's providing you with in-depth access to your favorite team. You get to see moments that most fans couldn't even dream of. Think that HBO 24/7 special without all of the F-bombs. Think MTV's Cribs without the awkwardly scripted dialogue. Think E! True Hollywood Story without the risk of seeing Ryan Seacrest. I know. You're welcome.

So when Troy Bodie let it slip to one of the Canes' PR guys (who then broadcast it all over Twitter) that the team had gone and gotten their picture taken with Santa at the mall, you had to know that we were ALL over it. A moment like that shouldn't remain hidden away on someone's iPhone. It must be shared with the fans. It's really only fair. So we reached out to a few players for the pictures and one of them (who shall remain nameless for the sake of his safety) sent along the best group photo of all group photos in the history of photography. So allow us to present the 2010-2011 Carolina Hurricanes' Team Photo with Santa!

FYI, you may want to click on the picture for the larger version because that's a LOT of Christmas cheer to soak in.

Clearly the team took the "holiday picture with Santa" thing seriously. According to sources, a group decision was made to wear holiday sweaters to really up the cheese factor. Of course, someone wasn't paying attention and showed up wearing a Hanukkah sweater, but no one was really surprised by that turn of events. Chad showing up wearing a mistletoe headband was also a memorable moment (remember folks, what happens at the mall Santa photo shoot stays at the mall Santa photo shoot). I must say I was terribly impressed with the extra spirit shown by Joe, Tim and Eric; Tim's Christmas tree headband was unlike anything anyone had ever seen before.

Justin, Brandon and Troy really went all out with their coordinated outfits (the candy cane cane was a nice touch in my opinion), but let's be honest here, the real stars of the show were Jiri, Jeff, Patty, Chad, Sammy and Ian. In addition to all being approximately the same size as some of the children waiting in line, they all looked as if they had stepped off the pages of a J.Crew photo spread. From the jauntily popped collars to the strategically distressed jeans to the work boots that were clearly not meant for work, these boys were STYLING. It was almost too much to handle (which is probably why Santa appears to be looking for an escape route). Well done fellas. Well done indeed.

Other highlights of the afternoon included one small child tugging on Sammy's sleeve and asking why he wasn't dressed like the other elves. (Can you tell I've waited all year for Christmas to roll around? So many elf jokes, so little time.) As was expected, Jeff got very impatient while waiting for the team's turn with the big fella so his teammates took turns holding him on their shoulders so he could see Santa.

Each one of the guys got a chance to ask Santa for something special for Christmas. Some requests were normal and mundane, but a few stood out. Of course, Jussi asked to be an All-Star or at least get more votes than Joni. Ian asked for hair gel which surprised his teammates as they were under the impression he had it shipped in by the vat. Justin once again asked that Santa convince the coaches to, and I quote, "let me start a flippin' game for the love of the hockey gods." Tim wished for Chad to take a vow of silence for even just an hour. Eric whispered in Santa's ear a request for Erik to like him best again. Of course, it still remains to be seen, but I do believe someone will be disappointed on Christmas morning.

As a reminder, we'll have a very special letter to Santa and some Hurricanes' Christmas cards coming up soon.

'Tis the Season...for Christmas Ornaments!

It's no secret that Christmas does strange things to people. It makes them pull tacky sweaters out of the back of their closets, put them on and say "yeah that'll do." It causes them to wear antlers as headbands and actual jingle bells as earrings. People eat fruitcake and drink eggnog; two foods that probably would not exist without the joy of the holiday season. It even causes hockey teams to lip-synch to Mariah Carey, film it and put it on Youtube. It's going to be tough to top that display of Christmas cheer, let's be honest. But leave it to your Carolina Hurricanes to bring a little of their own holiday magic to Raleigh. The boys decided they needed to brighten up their locker room with some signs of the season all while engaging in some good ol' fashioned team bonding. So they cranked up Alvin and the Chipmunks on the iPod, broke out the candy canes and spent their most recent off-day decorating Christmas ornaments. (As a side note, we now likely know why the PP looks the way it does.) I was lucky enough to score an invite to this unique event (probably because I own a ridiculously large amount of craft supplies) and was awed at our team's artistic ability or, in some cases, the lack thereof. So here's a play by play of this wildly entertaining (and completely fake) afternoon of glitter, laughter and Christmas cheer. Enjoy.

Me: Thanks for asking me to be here this afternoon guys! As you can see I've brought lots of craft supplies, blank ornaments in a bunch of different colors and, upon request of the coaching staff, aprons and drop cloths to make sure everyone goes home nice and clean. Oh and safety scissors for Jeff-remember boys, if you're walking around, the scissors better be pointing down. You can put whatever you want on your ornament...as long as it's family friendly. If you have any questions or need any help, let me know! Have fun!

Cole: No Jeff, you need to hold your scissors like this. See? Jeff adjusts his scissors. There ya go little buddy. You got it. Cole pats Jeff on the head.

LaRose: So Tim, what are you going to put on your ornament? What color are you going to pick? Will you use the glitter glue? I love glitter glue. I also really like cookies. Did you have one of those cookies? I've had like 6.... Tim glares, picks up his ornament and moves to the other end of the table. Tim?! Where are you going? Chad shrugs, turns to Joe Corvo and begins talking incessantly.

Me: Joni...careful with the glitter, it comes out really quickly. No Joni...don't do that. You shouldn't...oh no. Joni holds up his ornament covered in globs of glitter and shrugs sheepishly.
Me: Is this the way you want to leave your ornament? Joni? Joni...look at me. No Joni, stop it. Chad! Stop distracting Joni! Joni-focus. Is this how you want to leave your ornament?

Joni: Oh yah.

Me: Ok go hang it on the tree. Joni wanders off, tongue sticking out, seemingly without a purpose.

Jeff raises his hand.

Me: Yes Jeff?

Jeff: Can I have another cookie? I've only had one and I ate all my veggies.

Me: Yes Jeff, go ahead.

Bodie walks up, ornament in hand. I'm done.
Me: What is on the snowman's face?

Bodie: It's his muzzy. Duh.

Me: Ooooookay then. Chad, last warning-stop distracting Joni.

Carter: (whispering to Samsonov) Is Chad always like this?

Samsonov: Yeah he is. The extra sugar doesn't help. Just be thankful you weren't at the Halloween party.

Carter: I heard about that. There was a Youtube video right? What were you again?

Samsonov: I was a Keebler elf.

Carter: Oh like what you're putting on your Christmas ornament.

Samsonov: looks offended No. This is a CHRISTMAS elf. There's a big difference. Keebler elves make cookies in a tree. Christmas elves make toys and help Santa in the North Pole.

Carter: Oh. Awkward silence ensues. Do you like my Christmas lights?

Sutter: Hey Juice, what's on your ornament?

Jokinen: Oh nothing much, just some of my favorite holiday carols.

Sutter: Ummm...Jussi, that's not a Christmas carol.

Jokinen: Maybe not. But it's very cheerful!

Sutter: nods Fershurr. Mine is a candy cane because...

Chad: I know! Because it's scrawny like you! Brandon throws a blank ornament at Chad. Chad throws a Christmas cookie at Brandon, but it hits Tim instead. Tim glares at them all. Chad runs squealing to the other side of the locker room.

Me: facepalm. How do the coaches do this every day?

Ian White's hair walks up to hand in his ornament. I like to keep things simple.

Me: warily eyes Ian's hair just in case something alive pops out I can see that Ian. It looks really nice.

Me: Ok guys, we are running out of time so if you aren't finished with your ornament you need to start wrapping it up. muttering under my breath Plus I have to get out of this looney bin.

Dwyer: Hey Corvs...what's that supposed to be?

Corvo: It's the Grinch. From the Dr. Seuss book. I always related to that character for some reason.

Dwyer eyes Corvo skeptically. Corvo: Not the mean Grinch of course. The one with the heart that's three sizes bigger. He felt things so deeply, with such realism. I can relate to that.

Dwyer scoots away from Corvo and leans towards Harrison. Do you hear Corvs? I think he's lost it! Hey can you pass me the red? I got to finish my bow.

Harrison: Nice wreath man.

Dwyer: It's not as good as your Christmas tree!

Harrison: Thanks. I like Christmas trees. They are so tall and fluffy. Dwyer edges away from table and towards the door.

McBain: I'm done! It's the Christmas McBain Train!!! WOOO WOOOO!!!! Remaining players wooo as well.
Me: And no more cookies for y'all. In fact, I think we're done with all the snacks.

Jingle. Jingle. Jingle. Jingle. Group looks around the room trying to find the source of the noise.

Me: what is that?

Chad: It's my ornament! It's a jingle bell! I love jingle bells. See? It makes noise when you shake it! Chad shakes jingle bell furiously.

Me: Alright, who's driving Chad home? Tim reluctantly raises his hand. Good luck Tim. I like your ornament, by the way. Tim grunts and pulls Chad out of the room.

Cam has since placed his ornament on the tree and is stopping everyone from putting theirs up near it.
Me: Cam, is this your family? Cam nods and blocks Erik Cole's ornament.
Cole: Come on Wardo. You can't cover the entire tree.

Cam: Try me. I'm in the zone. I've got great lateral movement and take away time and space. Ask Tripper. Cole sighs and walks to the other side of the tree.

Tlusty hands me his ornament. Ummm...Jiri....is your ornament...a Christmas...package?

Tlusty: Yup. Jiri walks away. I giggle.

Ruutu looks at Peters' ornament. Wow. Petey, that's impressive. How did you do that?

Peters looks down. Well I've had a lot of free time lately so I took up art lessons. Mo thought it was a good idea since he said I should play when he found a really sharp tie or Tommy Rowe grew hair again, whichever came first. Not really sure that was as encouraging as he meant it to be. Ruutu pats Peters on the shoulder.

Ruutu: It'll be alright Justin. If you feel down, just sing Rudolph!

I walk around the tree and trip on Eric Staal who's sitting on the ground. Eric, what are you doing on the floor?

Staal: I can't get my ornament to hang on the top of the tree.

Me: That's because your "ornament" is your gold medal. It can't be the tree topper.

Staal: Why not?

Me: Because it's not an angel. The angel goes on the top of the tree.

Staal pouts for a minute...or 20 before handing me a different ornament. Can this go near the top at least?

Me: Fine.
Me: Alright that's it! Good job everyo...feels tug on my sleeve. Oh Jeff! We almost forgot your ornament. What did you create?

Cole lifts Jeff up so he can place his angel on the top of the tree. The group stands back in awe. I hurry towards the door to escape.

Stay tuned for a very special letter to Santa, Christmas cards to the 'Canes and that team picture with Santa you've heard so much about.

Saying Goodbye to a Dear Friend-The Sutterstache Eulogy

Ladies and gentlemen (and Chad), we are gathered here today not to mourn a life lost, but rather to celebrate a life lived. For how can you not celebrate a life as spectacular as the one lived by the Sutterstache? During its all-too brief time with us, it made us laugh...at its absurdity. It made us cry...as we laughed at its absurdity. It brightened our day and haunted our dreams. It brought joy to few and nightmares to many. And now, today, we lay it to rest as its very essence is transported to what we can only imagine is a place filled with mustache cups, tiny combs and those mini hair trimmers that keep everything neat and tidy.

The Sutterstache started like all of us do, small and seemingly unable to survive in this crazy world. But throughout its 31 day lifespan, it blossomed to something no one ever expected. It grew before our eyes; going from dust to fuzz to shadow to fluff and then to something resembling a caterpillar before finally reaching the stage that can only be described as looking like an eyebrow that got stuck on a one-way trip to the chin. That's right folks, before we knew it, the little 'stache that shouldn't was all grown up and ready for an appearance in a cheap motel room with a heart-shaped Magic Fingers bed.

It was so magnificent, so astounding and so profoundly disturbing that it generated its own Twitter hash-tag and a descriptive emoticon. People from Raleigh to Durham to Chapel Hill were mesmerized by it like bugs are by illuminated light bulbs. Cameras suddenly took on a life of their own and snapped its likeness over and over again. For 31 glorious days, we were all mustache fans; the number of people here today is a testament to that.

You see, if nothing else, the Sutterstache will be remembered for uniting us under one facial hair style. It brought us together as we anxiously scanned the horizon for a white windowless van. It bonded us as we wondered how many hockey-related double entendres and adult film jokes we could make at one time. Not to mention the fact that it may have singlehandedly rejuvenated the market for velour track suits and gold chains which I think we can all admit is a look we've really wanted to see make a comeback. Given enough time, I'm not entirely sure that solving the oil crisis and creating peace in the Middle East would have been outside the realm of possibility.

But perhaps the most startling gift the Sutterstache gave us all was the way it transformed the owner of its host lip. Seemingly overnight the mild mannered Lady Byng candidate became a penalty-taking, F-bomb dropping, ref back talking, fighting ball of hate. As the Sutterstache filled in, this attitude grew and now as we lay the Sutterstache to rest, we're left wondering if we must also bid farewell to this new persona. But much like the question of how long our grief will last, only time will allow us to resolve this final concern. Be patient, my friends, because every day will get easier.

On behalf of all Sutterstache's friends and family, I'd like to thank you for coming this evening to say goodbye to a dear, dear friend. Upon the request of the Sutterstache prior to its timel...errr...untimely demise, a brief memorial video has been put together that will close our service today. As you come forward to pay your final respects, please feel free to leave a special message for Sutterstache in the sink bowl to your right.