Sunday, November 8, 2009

Holy Moly What Do We Do Without Our Goalie?!

In probably the least surprising moment of the year thus far, the Canes dropped their 12th in a row to Columbus last night. But no one is talking about that today. Instead everyone is insanely concerned about the fate of our Campion Wardolie who was taken to the hospital after getting cut by Rick Nash's skate. Calamity Cam remains in the hospital and is out for, as JR put it, a "fairly long period of time." Ouch. My heart hurts.

Let us all take a moment to offer a prayer to the hockey gods (or the diety of your choice) for Cam's speedy recovery.

Ahem
Dear merciful and benevolent hockey gods,
I would like to apologize on behalf of all Canes' fans for our blatant disregard of your power and excellence. We shouldn't have cursed you when things didn't go our team's way. We had no right to complain when we lost guys to injury and suspension. How dare we assume we were going to excel this year? That is for you and you alone to decide. We admit we've sinned and we will do anything to repent for these mistakes. If there is anything I can do personally to right this wrong, just send me a sign. I will no longer make fun of E.Staal. I will call Creepie by his real name. I will stop making suggestive comments about Tripp's preferences. But please for the love of Gretzky, give us Cam back. We will never again take him for granted nor shall we question your power over the hockey world if you will give us this one small bit of hope. Amen.


As bad as the Cam in the hospital thing is, what may be even worse is that the fate of goaltending for the Carolina Hurricanes is in the hands of one Michael Leighton. Dear god. Is it too early to cue the locusts and the 7 horsemen? No? Ok I didn't think so. Now to be fair to Leights, he did do admirably well during Cam's absence last season, but that was a much shorter period of time and with a much less fragile hockey club. This is a horse of a different color and it's an ugly one. Leighton is inheriting a mess of a team that usually looks to Cam to be their saving grace. Sadly, I'm not entirely convinced that Leighton has the ability to deal with that situation. And neither Justin Peters nor Mike Murphy are ready to make the leap to NHL level goalie.

So, other than crying (and possibly some heavy drinking-NOTE I am not condoning alcoholism!) what do we do? Should Tripper come out of the press box and mind the nets again? Because I don't know if you knew this, but Tripp used to be a goaltender. Yup that's right, The Hurricane Siren-breaking news first. ;) Should Tommy B. come out of retirement and trade designer suits for Nike-Bauer pads? As fun as both of those options would be, I don't think they're all that realistic. And it's a shame because I had even figured out the perfect tagline John could use when Tripp made a big save-"and the little leprechaun snatches back his lucky charms!" Hehehe. Err...Tripp, I apologize, that was mean and largely uncalled for.

So back to the real world here...I could see one of two things happening.
Option 1-JR could do nothing and let Leighton fend for himself with guest appearances from Peters and Murphy as needed. This idea has some merit to it. The season is all but done (let's be honest here people-a MIRACLE would need to occur for this team to pull themselves out of the basement and we may have used up all of our miracles last season) and to make a desperate move to lock up a goaltender may do more harm than good. Why not let Leights earn his paycheck and prove whether he should be resigned next year or not? Is it really going to hurt our standings that much? FYI-we are in dead bang last so the answer is probably NO.

Option 2-JR could make one last ditch effort to get this team together and start their push for...29th? Ahhh...this appeasing the hockey gods thing isn't working so well for me today. He could trade for a current NHL goalie or bring someone in who doesn't have a team right now. Some suggestions-Manny Legace, Manny Fernandez or Kevin Weekes (JR LOVES TO RECYCLE!). I would still expect someone to get traded even if JR signed an out of work goalie. We are so close to the cap as it is that I don't think there would be room for anyone else (unless they are willing to work for delicious RBCC hotdogs and pulled pork sandwiches in which case-get them to Raleigh NOW).

Regardless of what happens with the goalie situation (Cam-heal like you've never healed before please) the rest of the team is going to need to step it up starting with the d-men. Cam will no longer be there to save their collective hineys and they cannot leave Leights hanging out to dry because he will fold like well...like wet laundry. And I think the D core goes the way of Timmy Gleason which leads me to my final thought for the day. I would like to officially endorse the Tim Gleason for Emperor campaign. Give that man a permanent A. Put him on the fast track for Captain. Heck maybe he and Sutter can co-coach the team while they're at it. (Thanks to Jenniwa30 for the picture.)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Carolina Drizzles Drop Another One

Well if there's one thing you can say about this team, it's that they're consistent. Unfortunately, it's consistently sucktastic and today was no exception. The addition of Binky and Ruu didn't help one iota. Not even Ray Whitney's 1000th game ceremony could cure them of being...well crappy. From top to bottom, they were outplayed, outworked and outhearted. And even the most diehard fans are left once again searching for a reason to cheer-something that should be clearly evident to management as there were almost as many empty seats as there were fans in the arena.

After a relatively decent 1st period (meaning they didn't give up 3 goals, pee themselves during the national anthem or hurt themselves coming over the boards), they just fell apart-physically, mentally, and emotionally (or maybe that was just me). But, in a continued effort to be positive, I will start with a few good things.

Good thing #1-BRANDON SUTTER. Period. Can we make him the first through third stars of the game? Heck why not throw captain and coach in there too? He continues to be the bright spot for all fans, especially this one, as he notched his second goal in as many games. For the record, he's tied for 5th on the team for goals scored behind only Cullen, Whitney, Staal and the Juice. Oh and he's only played 4 games. Yeah somehow I think he'll be around for a while. He has quite literally carried the offensive load for this team on his skinny little shoulders and frankly is the real deal. Hey Mo-here's a hint, don't wait until you're down by 2 before you move the best guy on the ice up a line. And yes, it was necessary to have two photos of his goal celebration mainly to make up for not having one yesterday. :)

Now-as for the rest of you. What in the name of god are you doing out there?!!! You're getting outplayed by a 20 year old kid who weighs 12.5 pounds. Man up all of you. Corvo, do us all a favor and either play like you want to be here or don't play at all. I'm firmly convinced A.Ward was sent here by the Bruins to enact revenge. Why else would he suddenly be SO bad and bring Yelle with him? Stop sucking A.Ward or I will totally let Scotty punch you again.

Cam. Dude. You know I love you right? Probably more than is normal for a strict goalie-fan relationship, but still, you have to know that you can practically do no wrong in my eyes. Well, you did wrong today. 5 goals worth of wrong, in fact. It's getting harder and harder to defend you especially when you don't stop ANYTHING glove side high. What is wrong with you? You aren't a new dad so you can't use that excuse. Where is the Cam from the second half of last season? I miss him. I want...nay I DEMAND him back. You've left me no choice, I had to take your Conn Smythe Trophy away. And you are now facing the wall with E.Staal sans stick. I will make you a dunce cap, don't push me Cam.

Speaking of dunce caps, Eric "I'm a pouter" Staal left the game with an upper body injury (maybe he went to see the Wizard of Oz for a heart-yeah low blow I know) and didn't return for the third period. At the risk of sounding harsh and unfeeling, my initial reaction was "so what?" Honestly, the team didn't look any different without him and there was some extra room on the bench so the guys could get good and comfy. I'd wish him a quick recovery, but chances are he'll play the next game, at less than 100% and be completely useless to us. So basically the norm.

I've had enough of the "the confidence just isn't there" and the ever present "we're getting better" baloney you feed us after the games. No more-I'm not buying it. It would be one thing if you were trying hard and the other teams were just better. But that's not the case; instead you're making the other teams better by not working hard. This isn't a systems issue or a confidence issue or even lucky bounce issue. It's a work ethic issue and it needs to be fixed now. If that means skating until you puke, then lace 'em up and pull out the buckets. If it takes trades to light a fire under your collective hiney, then make sure your bags are packed before you leave the house in the morning. If it means sitting superstars in favor of call-ups then enjoy the press box hot dogs and watch how it's done.

No matter what, this needs to turn around and turn around FAST. Because I don't know how much longer JR is going to sit and wait before he starts selling you off for parts. You're playing on borrowed time fellas as each game that goes by makes the playoffs, heck even a .500 season, more and more of a pipe dream. Get your act together boys. NOW.